The Olympic Spirit

                                           
                  Thank You Alain Bernard, You Brought Back The Olympic Spirit

                 
                                    And Another Victory For Good Over Evil

I'll admit it.  I really wasn't into the Olympics.  Seriously, name two gold medals winners from the last summer games.  (You can't use Michael Phelps.  So take him away and name two more.)  Okay, name the city where the last games were played.  (Up til this week I couldn't tell you either.)  Pretty much the only thing I remember about the Olympics was that the USA Basketball team got spanked by some Euro team but I can't remember which one.  Contrast that with what the Olympics used to be.  Who can forget the Carl Lewis's and the Mary Lou Rettons and the original Dream Team?  (The whole "Dream Team" thing is a perfect example of something that was "fun the first time, but now I'd wish it would go away".  Kinda like smoking.  At first you think it's cool and everyone is into it.  Next thing you know you are paying $7.50 a pack, hacking up your lungs, getting kicked out of every restaurants, and to top it off, no ones wants to be around you because you stink.)  Those days might as well be ancient history.  With the internet generation, fans don't like to wait til the next Sunday for football much less another four years to see the best in the world. 

So I was sitting around last night and had nothing to do.  Just hanging with the TV on the Olympics but not really watching.  I wasn't watching until I just happen to hear something out of the corner of my eye.  (I know you can't hear something out of the corner of your eye, but I couldn't come up with a more fitting cliche.)  I happened to hear that some Euro guy was talking all sorts of smack on the American swim team.  WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  Some French D-Bag was calling out the US team and our golden boy Michael Phelps.  Peppy La Pue had the nerve to get up in our faces and tell us that he was going to (Queue snotty French voice.) "smash the Americans."  I really could care less about swimming, but I don't really care if it's swimming or running or basketball or Wii sports or anything besides smelling like BO.  You can't let some no showering, wine and cheese eating, smelly, techno dancing, stinky, Nazi surrendering, did I mention they don't take showers Euro get away with that, and especially if it's the freakin French.  This is the same country that's folded in every war since the beginning of time.  Now they are talking smack to US, The United States of America!!!!  UnFREAKING Believable!!!!  So I'm sitting there waiting for this race to come, and to spare you the gory details the US won.  But they not only won, they won by chasing down the choking Peppy who had a huge lead going into the final leg.  (Words can't describe it so if you haven't seen it, Google it cuz it's really cool.  I'm getting vaclemped just thinking about it.)   As much as I loved watching the U.S. win, I loved Peppy looking like a complete moron even better.  In your face Peppy.  You like beignets.  Well, how about them beignets.

So that's when it hit me.  The reason why the Olympics are no longer the Olympics is because we, as Americans, have no one to hate.  Back in the days, it was easy.  Americans good, Communists bad.  It was true in movies. (Rocky IV and Red Dawn)  It was true in Pro wrestling.  And it was especially true in international sports.  It was easy to hate the commie bastards and beating their asses at any sport was another victory by good over evil.  I don't wanna sound like that guy who won't let go of a hot piece, but nothing will ever take the place of whupping up on the Yugos, the East Germans, the Czechs, and, of course, the Soviets.  No one will ever permanently fill that void, but for one night a smelly punk ass, trash talking, stinky, D-Bag, did I mention they don't take showers Frenchman gave us all someone to hate.  And for one night, the Olympics were the Olympics again.